Power from the Sky

Ever since a child, when in pain, sorrow and grief, or in bewilderment, I often found myself, alone, in a secluded place, where  I could possibly stare at the firmament. It would not matter if it's under the scorching heat of the sun, or under the shimmering brightness of the moon and star, as long as I can gaze it long as I want.

It's been my life routine and until now, whenever I feel empty, lonely, troubled or scared, I just look up the heaven, and miraculously after wards I feel peace and serenity. I don't know why, but just beholding the sky comforts and calms me. Maybe because of its charm and beauty from dusk till dawn, or of its awesome existence for billion years that shows a spirit of infinity.

            Whatever may it be I believe there is a power behind the sky. One thing I am grateful for, is that I understand that behind the grandeur of the vast welkin, behind the wonderful colors of the rainbows, behind the magnificence of the illuminating moon and the twinkling of the stars, is a power of a great being that never tires to  care, watch and listen. And I knew that whatever censored things or things happen underneath the sky will have its own compensation in due time, and this is my hope. My only supplication is  that, may He never covers His ears with clouds  towards my prayers and never listen... For I rejoice in His majesty that reflects  in the comfort I feel in that wild blue yonder, and forever I will glory that empyrean power I found above the sky...

Search for a New Dawn

July 20 the start of an unknown journey... Thanks goodness and to God I am done taking my id picture for some government benefits... Now time to go back again to the hospital where I have been waiting lately for more than 2 hours. They need a break, so I was forced to come back again... Now waiting time starts.... I hate this long waiting, not that I am impatient, just that I hate the feelings... I hate the crowd, people that walks to and fro in front of me, makes me sick. I hate to see newborn babies thinking how fragile they could be, hate seeing people in stitches and crutches, worst... in wheelchair thinking how helpless they could be... I hate the noise, seems it adds up to the pounding of my heart, making it more faster and more louder, like a loud cry that's deafening me... Why am I here anyway? For a moment my mind is blank. It's been my dream, but.... Why the questions? Why the searching of answers? and most of all why the fears??? Now I couldn't think of anything... Everything just mixed up with the "what if's"... What if I draw back and not continue? Will I ever know? This time is apparently my last chance, the only spark of hope left in my life... I don't wanna regret  that  I never tried and do... I wanna take this chance for the last time, and whatever the outcome may maybe, may God help me... So I stood up, brace myself with my shaking legs, and faced the doctor. It took almost 30 minutes just talking him... Well...need to come back by Thursday for further examinations and clarifications... So let us see what will happen next. This is just the beginning of my searching... for a hope of a new dawn in me...

No One is Perfect

This morning found myself being tagged of a note about lesbians and gays. Coincidentally the prayer meeting's topic lately was also about lesbians and gays, so it triggers me to write about my own views about it. Don't take me wrong as homosexuality is completely out of this topic. And I don't conform with it, as it is against the law, be it naturally or spiritually. I just don't agree and I think it is unfair to say that lesbians and gays are destined for damnation, or they are crazy freaks born out in this world. Who we to condemn anyone? In the first place who wants to be a lesbian or a gay? Are they given the choice what would they be like after being born? It isn't their choice because no one in this world were born by choice and we know this for fact. My point is Lesbians and gays are part of this world, part of Gods creation. They were created as normal people were created. They maybe different in a way but they have also spirit, soul and feelings as normal people do, what I am trying to say is they are also human...And as humans, I believe, Lesbian's and Gay's have rights as normal people have. They have goodness, skills, beauty and talent as normal people do. And as part of God creation I believe they have chances even for ethereal matters, just if they are willing to work for it, for they are humans too. It is not their mistake nor their sin being born that way, so who are we to judge? Instead of mocking and deriding them , why don't we just leave them behind and let them live as normal people do? If we can't treat them good and right why don't we just leave them alone as a respect, even if it's just for the sake of them being human. Lucky are we who were born normal, so let us try to be humane. We maybe born normal, but we are no less than different from them, as we also have our own flaws. No one is perfect and this don't give us the right to belittle anyone or anybody. Unless you haughtily  think and believe your perfect...and Do you...?

Behind This Bleak Black Eye

Behind This Bleak Black Eyes

Look intently, it tells a story. A story from time immemorial,that covers all its corners with darkeness.

It wants to give up when a stranger came, shading colors to it's dull and lifeless world like a knight and shinig armor.

But all of a sudden gone with the wind leaving it alone without even any single traces at all.

It's world tumbles down, as it battles up itself with scattered bits and pieces of its broken dreams.

Now every thing that could be its everything vanished. Left alone with only Loneliness as its friend, the only one that is willing to share its pain, embracing all its heartaches....

So it tells heartache to leave today, search another to lean on, and find any one else to rain on as it is now barely hanging on. For sorrow shallowed it whole, tormenting it to low lament.

Anguish deactivates its system, numb and tired, wanting to cry no more then it bravely whisper... " You won't get to see this tears I cried behind this Bleak Black Eye"

BRUISE

                                                                

You can’t tell I’ve been trough hell...

Just time for me to change my appeal.

Blinded by all kind of lies,

Blame was not the widest way.

Though it tears me up inside,

It gave me a box of lesson to learn...

Though it caused me pain ,

I pray harm will never come it’s way,

For I still dream to find the one…

The one that lives inside my mind...

From a deep scar of a beautiful memory...

Even with the bruise it give me…

@ Cyberstratt cafe

April 21, 2010 - 4:48 Ppm

"Random Thoughts from the Past"

 ---XXX(O)XXX---

                                                                                                                If There is Something to Tell

that would be one thing,
that everything will be ok…
that to worry is just a waste time…
and time should not be wasted.
that life should not be idled with despair,
for there’s the light that fights darkness…
and surely defends us in every battle.
poverty may stole our golden shoes,
but it can never steal our laughter…
heartaches may always comes knockin our door
but it will never be ever after…
fight if you must,
but not out of spite.
stand up for what is right,
with forbearing heart and soul…

that we may reap goodness…

according to our deeds….

date:july 16,2008
time: 11:21
                                                                                    place: cyberstratt cafe
                                                                                    signed by: odette b.

 

 ---XXX(O)XXX---

I build a dream

To behold a love so pure

So I whisper a prayer…

But seems fate is so greedy

That it takes away every opportunity…

Trailing back the hands of time

And scanning every footprints in the sand,

Behold heartaches and pains clings that it gave nothing but

Life without life, Life without color

Life without love a Life without meaning…

Yet still I hope…

Once more I dream.

And hope for it to happen

That you’ll be at my side to take away my fear…

Be my heaven and be my life’s splendor

That I may taste life completeness…

Be my fulfillment

My Beginning and End

My Today and Tomorrow

My hope throughout life

Now And Forever

Once more

October 2, 2008

11:33 A.M.

Cyberstratt Café

Odette b.

 ---XXX(O)XXX---

 ---XXX(O)XXX---

Sometimes because of wanting to  please others i am tempted to compromise my principles just to avoid conflicts that sometimes unkowingly I have been bending too far. 

Then I realize those who truly stand by their convictions will at times experience others anger, but making someone else angry maybe a small price to pay for living according to our own conscience…

                    So I think it is better to offend someone else than to behave in a way I will regret later…

October 16, 2008 - 3:27P.M.

Cyberstratt  Cafe

Odette B.

P.S. These thoughts of mine I had written from the past few years were posted in my friendster account.

Wanderer

I am a wanderer...

My thoughts without my body wander around in this sublime enigmatic world, hunting pictures and images, of knowledge and understanding for my starving and bedridden soul.

I write not as a writer or as a poet, nor for glory or for fame. Neither because I consider myself skilled in this field, which I myself know,I am not.

I write because I yearn for a list of books. Books of random events, of memoirs my thoughts have had encountered. A book of memories, for my wandering thoughts, which I can call "my own"...